yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
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But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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