clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
3pm strippers are depressing
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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