we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize