I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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