Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
MIDGETS
????
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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