So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
