With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
