you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
