he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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