I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
