This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
