all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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