Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
