ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
