I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
