Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
