Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize