I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This is my gift to your gina
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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