New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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