That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
