Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
