She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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