The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
