Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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