I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
