she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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