I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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