"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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