soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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