Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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