i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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