i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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