I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize