Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
