All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
