i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
