Where did you get a picture of my penis
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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