we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
