so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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