we have pet lesbian snakes
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
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What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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