So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
