I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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