I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
