So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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