I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.