Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling

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  (978): I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling http://tfl.nu/hfj0
  Replies (13) Good night (692) Bad night (1145)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.

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  (604): The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches. http://tfl.nu/tdy2
  Replies (57) Good night (1467) Bad night (6768)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes

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  (781): At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes http://tfl.nu/p42l
  Replies (10) Good night (3507) Bad night (1207)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.

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  (440): Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family. http://tfl.nu/crmt
  Replies (17) Good night (5105) Bad night (797)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.

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  (412): Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country. http://tfl.nu/04vq
  Replies (18) Good night (5902) Bad night (988)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.

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  (757): We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out. http://tfl.nu/e9z5
  Replies (4) Good night (1273) Bad night (3747)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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  (519): Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/0328
  Replies (6) Good night (1351) Bad night (1454)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described

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  (405): Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described http://tfl.nu/ywvl
  Replies (7) Good night (1847) Bad night (985)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.

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  (832): Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome. http://tfl.nu/loiz
  Replies (5) Good night (2690) Bad night (678)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song

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  (908): Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song http://tfl.nu/uwq0
  Replies (13) Good night (1521) Bad night (641)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.

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  (701): Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single. http://tfl.nu/d9fj
  Replies (2) Good night (937) Bad night (991)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.

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  (207): I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit. http://tfl.nu/x2in
  Replies (1) Good night (1010) Bad night (390)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves

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  (772): its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves http://tfl.nu/3m9t
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (373)
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  (562): View more from California

  Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.

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  (562): Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works. http://tfl.nu/5yc6
  Replies (3) Good night (326) Bad night (642)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.

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  (586): So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it. http://tfl.nu/xov5
  Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (285)

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