Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
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Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.