): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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