TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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