I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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