I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
