I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
