cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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