she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
