I met the friendliest cop last night
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
