I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
