ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
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I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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