So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize