I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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