he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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