u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
