I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
