the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
