You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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