if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
